Thesis: An ideal marriage should include love, commitment, and understanding.

Paragraph 1: Lydia & Wickham - completely lacks all 3, married for lust, money, and social status

Paragraph 2: Charlotte & Collins - completely lacks love, but there is a degree of commitment and understanding

Paragraph 3: The Bennets - There is a little bit of love and some commitment and a lot of understanding on Mr. Bennet's part

Paragraph 4: Jane & Bingley - Love and understanding present, but level of commitment is not achieved

Paragraph 5: Lizzy & Darcy - got it all, portrayed as ideal couple

Paragraph 6: Jane also wants money to be heavily considered in marriage

Paragraph 7: Might have… to a very small degree. But if so, then she would've made Lizzy's family richer than they are now

Conclusion: Ideal marriage consists of a high level of love, commitment and understanding. Something something.

Pride and Prejudice, written by Jane Austen, is a classic romance from the 19th century. The title itself gives away two out of the three main themes of the story: pride and prejudice. The last theme, constantly referred to during the novel, is marriage. In the novel, Jane Austen presented many different couples, each with their own nature and characters. Through this, she is able to communicate her belief regarding an ideal marriage, which should include a high degree of love, understanding, and commitment.

Lydia and Wickham is portrayed as the least unstable couple, because they have a serious lack in all three virtues that Austen set up as requirements for the ideal marriage. Through Elizabeth's voice, Austen speaks of her disapproval of Lydia and Wickham. She refers to Lydia as a person who “wanted only encouragement to attach herself to anybody.” (Austen, 200). And since, in her opinions, it's an “astonishment that Wickham should marry a girl whom it was impossible he could marry for money”, the union of these two disgraceful people is both surprising and amusing news. Lydia would have attached herself to any other officer, clearly implies that there is no love in this relationship. The fact that Wickham has been such a scammer before shows that he does have commitment, but it's commitment to the money, not the girl he marries. With that, there are high doubts that there could be understanding between two people, who marries each other not out of love and commitment, but because of lust and money.

Next, Austen describes the marriage between Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas as a typical marriage during the Regency Period, which completely lacks love, but includes a moderate degree of understanding and a lot of commitment. Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins married each other mainly to maintain their social status. It is understood that Mr. Collins does not possess “any charm that could make a woman wish for [his courtship] continuance” (91), while Lucas “accepted him solely from the pure and disinterested desire of an establishment” (91). Though their marriage, under Austen's eyes, is considered more favorable than Lydia and Wickham, the lack of love makes it seem more like a business agreement than a spiritual attachment.

When referring to spiritual attachment, it could be agreed that the fact that Jane and Mr. Bingley possess love for one another that makes their marriage an ideal one, though perhaps not quite the most ideal one. Mr. Bingley is quite attracted to Jane and his “attentions to [Jane] had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage” (143). They both get along very well, and given their status and education, Jane and Bingley both shared a mutual understanding and are committed to their partner at a high degree. However, the missing ingredient in this marriage is the commitment to change. Like many other happy couples, Jane and Bingley met, their personalities work well with each other, they fell in love, and became married. Neither had to change themselves or alters any of their daily rituals to match the other. Their relationship simply did not encounter as many obstacles as the relationship between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth and Darcy, on the other hand, are portrayed as the ideal couple for an idea marriage. Mr. Darcy “ardently love and admire” (138) Elizabeth, who eventually returns the same affection to her companion. Not only that, the couple had to overcome many difficulties before they can unite. First, they had to overcome their personal differences. Elizabeth was prejudiced against Mr. Darcy because she let the first bad impression become the judgment of Mr. Darcy's characters as a person. While Mr. Darcy, was too proud to lower himself to socializing with a girl from a middle class family. Then, the conflicts that Wickham brought, which includes both his seductions of Georgiana and Lydia, and his overall ill-natured personalities makes the situation appears even more awkward for Elizabeth and Darcy. Mr. Darcy, with a commitment to their relationship, stepped up and paid Wickham to marry Lydia and save the Bennet family from any further humiliations. The relationship between Jane and Mr. Bingley also put some more restraints on Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy because Elizabeth misunderstood Mr. Darcy as attempting to ruin Jane's happiness. And lastly, the opposition from Lady Catherine also acts as an obstacle to their union. Yet despite all these hardships, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy still admire, respect, and love one another. It takes great force and motivation to overcome all of the obstacles and their success proved their great commitment to each other as well as the commitment to change. For this reason, Austen portrayed Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy as the most ideal couple in the story.

Love, understanding, and commitment are all important virtues that an ideal marriage should possess. Jane Austen, with her writing skills, shared this belief with her audience in hope of encouraging younger couples to pursue this tradition. It was because of mindsets like hers that marriages today is no longer as heavily influenced by social status and money as they used to be back in the Regency Period.

Right away this idea is introduced as the audience learns that Penelope has been turning down the advances of the suitors for many years. She is preserving the bond that she made with Odysseus and the promise she made to him when he left for the war, even though she is lonely: “She seems attentive to their pleaded vows, Her heart detesting what her ear allows. They, vain expectants of the bridal hour,” (1). While Odysseus is detained on Calypso’s island he wants no part of the sexual advances of Calypso, even though she is a beautiful nymph, “Calypso in her caves constrain'd his stay, With sweet, reluctant, amorous delay,” (1). But instead he longs for his own wife: Penelope is, “The dear, though mortal, object of my love,” (5) and he wants nothing more than to get back to her and his home land.  Calypso abuses the act of sex and even though she is aware that Odysseus has a wife and home she keeps him as her sex slave, abusing the bond he has made. She uses sex only for pleasure and eventually Athena sees to it that Zeus puts it to an end.

On his journey, Odysseus encounters Nausicaa who gives a speech that dispels any question of the Greek parameters on sexual relations. She speaks to uphold her morality, showing Odysseus that she is a child of virtue who wishes to be done right by: 

“And the least freedom with the sex is shame,
Till our consenting sires a spouse provide,
Till our consenting sires a spouse provide,
And public nuptials justify the bride,” (6)

She drives home the idea that sex is wrong outside of the nuptial bed. Her parents Alcinoos and Arete reflect this model as they end the day by going to bed with one another.

In parallel, The Odyssey also portrays what happens when the marital vows are not kept sacred. The audience knows that the Trojan war began on an account of infidelity when Helen was unfaithful to Menelaus. Agamemnon, in Hades, scorns her for it. Agamemnon is an example of the unfortunate events that always seem to follow adulterous acts, as his wife who was also unfaithful, lands him in Hades. This act was punished, as almost all acts of distrust between spouses in this story are. Story telling is one of the major methods that the Greeks use to pass down information and rules to live by. The story of Hesphaetus and Aphrodite’s love affair is told, emulating the idea that punishment shall ensue if the holy bond is broken. “Yet Vulcan conquers, and the god of arms Must pay the penalty for lawless charms." (8)

There is one instance when Odysseus is almost lost to the sexual charms of Circe. Their relationship portrays the pleasurable, engrossed type of lover’s relationship that can get so many Greeks into trouble, Agamemnon, Helen and Aphrodite have all been used as examples of this throughout the tale. “Sheathe thy bright sword, and join our hands in peace! Let mutual joys our mutual trust combine, And love, and love-born confidence, be thine.' (10). This is the one instance where Odysseus is blinded from his goal of nostos, revealing just how powerful of a role sex plays. Thankfully his crew men remind him of his purpose and he sets out with a vengeance again, turning down a lifetime with the illustrious Circe to get back to Penelope, where he knows he should be. Their reunion is held in suspense throughout the entire story. The audience sees pairs of husband and wife-Alcinoos and Arete, as well as Menelaus and Helen- ending their days together when all is right. The rejoining of Odysseus and Penelope demonstrates to the Greeks that all is well and Odysseus’ plight is to be over. “The instant his fair spouse Ulysses led To the chaste love-rites of the nuptial bed.” (23)

It is clear in The Odyssey that the bond between husband and wife is revered. Those who love within the nuptial bed’s domain, as defined through Nausicaa’s speech, uphold their morality and live peacefully in the Greek world. Even the Gods are unable to break the marriage bond for long without receiving retribution. This bond is so well recognized as something sacred throughout the story, that it caps off Odysseus’ long and eventful journey. The audience is so accustomed to this idea that by the end of the story Odysseus and Penelope adjourning to bed together solidifies Odysseus’ success and safety. Pleasure and force both play a role in the characters sexual relations but it is the bond between husband and wife that is imperative in the Greek’s culture.

Listen

Just be a good listener and let him know that every word he says counts.

Eye Contact

Whenever you speak with him, glance and wait for his eyes to catch yours and hold the eye contact for about 5 seconds or more. He needs to feel that you are really paying attention.

Smile

Let him feel the warmth of your smile whenever possible. Who can resist a wife with a killer smile?

Serve

A way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so serve him food that he really likes.

Zora Neale Hurston (January 7, 1891-January 28, 1960) was an African-American folklorist. She wrote the critically-acclaimed Harlem Renaissance but was best remembered for her work Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Both authors were better-educated than most girls during their time. Austen entered Reading Ladies boarding school in the Abbey gatehouse in Reading, Berkshire. Hurston took undergraduate studies at Howard University then transferred to Barnard College where she finished a degree B.A. in anthropology in 1928.

Despite a century that gulfed between them, Jane Austen and Zora Neale Hurston are authors that share similar characteristics and themes in their novels.

In consonance with the custom for female authors during her time, Jane Austen was forced to publish her works anonymously. Austen's works revolved around love stories. During her time the Romantic movement of literature in England was in full bloom. But Austen's writings were far from being romantic. Romanticism often borders

on passion. Austen, however, extolled love tempered with reason in her novels. She would most likely depict who people practiced moderation in love as having more chances of success than those who went for it at all costs.

In similar grain, we find American author Zora Neale Hurston's novels reflecting the same values. Moderation is the key she preached. The characters she wrote were not subject to violent or overly emotions. As a matter of fact, anyone could relate to them.

Austen tackled social issues during her time. She delved on issues such as the dilemma of single genteel English women in the early 1800s. During this time, inheritance law and custom favored the male heirs. The bulk of the family's fortune often went to them, leaving the unmarried women to cope on their own. Austen often depicted socially perceptive comedies on manners in her books. These are particularly true in her work Emma where critics often cited it for perfection of form.

The main plot of both authors' stories center on the lives of women. Take for instance, Hurston's book Their Eyes Were Watching God, we findJanie the main protagonist living a sheltered existence. Her grandmother, who was an ex-slave, did not want Janie to experience the harshness in the world. She brought up Janie in a wealthy environment. As a natural consequence, she revolved around similarly well-to-do black social circle. Her first husband was Logan who wasn't able to provide her with financial stability. She was forced to find a job to augment their meager income. As tough times threatened, Janie left him. Her second husband was Jody, a mayor. Jody

brought her to the all black city called Eatonville. The lifestyles of the people in Eatonville were similar to those of the white people. Her husband, Jody, being the town's steward, implemented all the rules in the town. As a consequence, the town prospered. Jody, in turn, became financially stable. Somehow, despite her obvious wealth, Janie did not find the happiness she sought. Years rolled by and Jody died. Janie went to the Everglades with Tea Cake and found work in the fields where she was finally able to find true happiness.

Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, which is one of her most popular books, featured two sisters Marianne and Ellinor. Marianne, who, being emotional was acquainted with passionate feelings such as love at first sight. She expressed openly ardent emotions. She admired the grotesque "picturesque". And she represented Austen's idea of "sensibility". Elinor, the sister, was the one blessed with more "sense" as shown by her rational moderation when it came to love. Despite her outlook she still suffered from disappointments brought about by love now and then.

Jane Austen and Zora Neale Hurston provide a strong voice for the issue of feminism in literature. Jane Austen, due to the constraints of her times, was forced to hide her gender and keeping her identity anonymous in order to promote feminist literature. Zora Neale Hurston, on the other hand, continued and promoted the feminist literature movement by her writings. The desired end Zora Neal Hurston had strived though, being a black person herself, was to promote freedom for black people. The issue of Black Liberation Movement, around 1910, was foremost in her times. Their Eyes Were

Watching God, Hurston's most popular work, carried a themebased on a rural Southern setting. It focused on the relationship between man and nature, the ongoing dynamics of human relationships, and Janie's thirst for independence.

Authors criticized Zora Neal Hurston because they expected her, being a black author during the black liberation movement in the 1910's, to write stories depicting black people's oppression and support the movement by writing about black people struggles for freedom. They wanted Hurston to voice out their experiences on how they are being suppressed by the people around them. Instead, Zora focused her writings on the issues of the women being suppressed in their rights and not allowed to be free. She seemed largely apolitical. But by tackling this idea, Hurston probably wanted to depict the struggles of black people on their quest for freedom.

In a way, both authors went against popular opinion during their time when they opted not to join the bandwagon. Jane Austen did not pursue romanticism in her novels despite being under the influence of the Romantic Period. Instead, she gave her character like Ellinor a degree of control over her emotions. Zora Neal Hurston, like Austen, did not openly campaign for black independence just like her contemporaries were. She decided to take another route which was to present a more tame view on the movement by tackling women issues and relating them to black people's struggles.

This is how Hurston deals with pressing issue of racism. Instead of taking sides, she pointed out that black critics during her time were themselves racist against other people. Hurston did not want to limit her view of freedom to a particular group of people alone such as blacks. Freedom for Hurston should be shared by everybody especially freedom from oppression - blacks, Indians, and women.

Austen described in her novels women who were after marriages that would provide them comforts. Readers during our time may find this abhorring but Austen was simply writing the practices during her period. During her time, men and women often married for money. Opportunities for wealth were not widespread. So they turned to marriage as a way to gain financial freedom. Austen is popular for her ability to intertwine romance with the social situation in her era and produced a believable love story. The conflict in her novels often tackled emotional aspects such as love, friendship and morals being tested by financial concerns.

Just like Austen's women characters, Hurston's female lead in Their Eyes Were Watching God particularly Janie also married for money. Her first marriage did not work out because she was used to the life of wealth and abundance. She had not worked a day of her life when she was young being born to a privileged family. Being married to her husband Logan woke her up to the harsh realities that black women her age had to contend. Janie left her first husband in search of a man who could provide for her needs, to find advantageous marriages.

The strength of Austen's works lies in her ability to give a unique voice on her characters especially women and depicting them in their everyday lives belonging to the middle or upper. It is easy to relate to Jane's character because they did not out of the ordinary lives. Each woman especially in our generation finds themselves reflected in part by the characters Jane wrote.

Austen's literary appeal is also due in part in her ability to depict her character vividly and firmly. The characters were always ordinary people who were consistent with their views and principles throughout the story. Austen did not try to embellish them with her own views. But, she managed to preserve the characters' views all through out.

Just like Austen, Hurston too chose middle and upper class black women in her stories. Their lives just like Austen reflected the lives during their times. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Hurston was able to escape being labeled or attributed to a single movement, whether literary or political. Wright's criticism about the book which came out in 1937 is, to some degree, true: the book is not a political treatise-it carries no single, overwhelming message or moral. Far from being a weakness, however, this resistance is the secret of the novel's strength: it is a profoundly rich, multifaceted work that can be read in a number of ways."

Early on we can discern that Juliet is concerned with marriage. She expresses this in relation to Romeo in the lines, “If he be married, my grave is like to be my wedding bed.” (Act 1 scene 5, lines 136-137). From this we know that before Juliet even considers other romantic possibilities, marriage is foremost in her mind. On the topic of love, Juliet is both practical and negative. While talking to Romeo during Act 2, scene 2, she appears to be very doubtful of his love: “O, swear not by the moon, th'inconstant moon, That monthly changes in her circle orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable,” (lines 109-111). In addition, Juliet seems to look down on love alone as something impure: “If that thy bent of love be honorable, Thy purpose marriage, send me word tomorrow,” (lines 143-144). In these lines she is asserting the fact that marriage is most important, and acts as a form of approval or justification for feelings of love.

Romeo, in contrast to Juliet, holds love in his highest respects. He believes it to be an unstoppable, infinite force: “With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls; For stony limits cannot hold love out,” (Act 2, scene 2, lines 66-67). Despite the impracticality of this statement, it vindicates his positive outlook on love. Romeo also often associates and confuses love with the concept of beauty. His first description of Rosaline focuses only on how beautiful she is: “And she's fair I love,” (Act 1, scene 1, line 209), and when seeing Juliet for the first time, he is immediately entranced with her appearance. At this, he falls in love with her and forsakes his love for Rosaline; “Did my heart love till now? Foreswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night,” (Act 1, scene 5, lines 54-55). In this statement he is directly relating beauty to love, as if beauty were a measure of love in his “crystal scales”. In terms of marriage, Romeo appears to be completely uninterested. He sees it more as a transient phase that will allow him to further pursue love: This explains his hastiness in getting married to Juliet. There is also a possessive and binding element to Romeo's conceptions of both marriage and love. When first seeing Juliet, he remarks, “What lady's that which doth enrich the hand of yonder knight?” (Act 1, scene 5, line 44).This shows that Romeo thinks of Juliet as an accessory; an object. He emphasizes this idea again during the wedding scene: “Then love-devouring death do what he dare -It is enough that I may but call her mine,” (act 2, scene 6, lines 7-8). This shows that much of what love meant to him was the ownership of Juliet.

Lady Capulet is similar to Juliet in her approach to marriage. In Act 1, scene 3, the first point of discussion she brings up with Juliet is marriage: “Well, think of marriage now,” (line 69). As she continues to speak of Paris, she seems to imply that his beauty is a measure of how marriageable he is, and that marrying Paris will open the doors for love: “This precious book of love, this unbound lover, To beautify him only lacks a cover,” (lines 87-88). This relation of beauty to marriage is similar to the men's relation of beauty to love. However, Lady Capulet seems to avoid the topic of love in its lone form, and never speaks of it when not in relation to marriage. This implies that she is disapproving of love without marriage, or has negative thoughts on love. Lady Capulet's approaches to love and marriage are in many ways similar to Juliet's.

Mr. Capulet, on the other hand, believes in love coming prior to marriage. When speaking to Paris about his proposal for Juliet's hand, he says, “But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart; My will to consent is but a part,” (Act 1, scene 2, lines 16-17). By these lines he is implying that Juliet's love is worth more than his fatherly consent. This asserts that Mr. Capulet, like Romeo, believes that love is highly important. However, upon the death of Tybalt, everything changes and Mr. Capulet suddenly becomes highly interested in marriage: “a Thursday, tell her, She shall be married to this noble earl,” (act 4, scene 1, lines 20-21). Mr. Capulet's sudden interest and hasty marriage plans were probably the result of him realizing his own morality, as explained in his comment on Tybalt's death in the same scene: “we were born to die” (line 4). From this we can infer that he associates marriage with the concept of countering death. Mr. Capulet certainly has the most complex and trivial approaches to love and marriage, as his opinions on the two subjects change repeatedly. However, it is clear that he has similar views to Romeo.

From this we can see that the men and women of Romeo and Juliet have approaches to love and marriage that contrast each other significantly. Shakespeare wants the audience to realize that the differences in these approaches are realistic, and that misunderstandings due to them have the potential to cause later problems.

I have always loved writers who are able to bring any landscape and moment to life and make the reader feel as though he or she is right there with the main character experiencing each moment simultaneously. Pickett has quite skillfully crafted such a story.

Sideways is the story of two men who are at a turning point in their lives. One is to be married shortly and the other is a starving writer who is his best man. Throughout their journey of unexpected, incredulous twists and turns, the two learn lessons in friendship, life and themselves. As Pickett describes his novel it is: “The ultimate road trip. The last hurrah…” for two best friends. It is an interesting story that kept me up late at night turning page after page in anticipation of what would happen next.

The main character Miles, the writer, has a very cynical, straightforward, sarcastic charm that leaves you caring about his plight for he is nothing but honest, self-deprecating, and vulnerable. His cohort in crime, Jack, has a crass, seemingly unethical approach to life that in the end becomes understandable and surprisingly endearing.

For the wine enthusiast, Pickett's exceptional knowledge of wine and generous descriptions leaves one feeling thoroughly educated and privileged. While his sometimes uncanny, off the wall twists and turns within the unfolding of the pair's journey leaves the reader entertained by his pleasantly, unique imagination.

Pickett is a screenwriter who lives in Los Angeles and Sideways is his very first novel.

Experts on personal relationships have come up with a list of books that they recommend to soon-to-be brides to help them prepare for the momentous occasion and the subsequent married life. Here are the top six suggestions:

1. 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married by Monica Mendez Leahy.

   Love can be bliss, but marriage takes work. Communication, compromise, and joint-decision making are key ingredients to a successful marriage. Using a variety of fun, interactive formats, including multiple choice, fill-in-the-blanks, and hypotheticals, relationship expert Monica Mendez Leahy brings to the table these and many other important issues that will arise in marriage - including the ones that may blindside you. This book will help you and your partner explore your common goals and perspectives as well as celebrate your unique differences as you prepare for your life journey together.

2. Creating Your Perfect Wedding: Stylish Ideas and Step-by-Step Project for a Beautiful Wedding by Lucinda Ganderton and Sania Pell.

   This inspiring and beautiful book will ensure that you have the wedding of your dreams - a memorable, stylish and truly personal celebration that's all about the bride and groom, not their bank balance! It includes 12 stylish yet simple projects to personalize your wedding, beautifully and clearly illustrated with easy-to-follow step-by-step photography. There are also dozens of other beautiful and memorable ideas for bridal and table flowers, cakes, table settings, place cards, candles, wedding favors, confetti, gifts, and wedding keepsakes.

3. To Have & to Hold: Magical Wedding Bouquets by David Stark and Avi Adler.

   One of the anticipated moments of your wedding planning is picking out your bouquet, but when faced with so many seductive choices, which do you choose? A tiny nosegay on an heirloom Bible? A playful gathering of wildflowers loosely tied with a velvet ribbon? A cascade of dazzling peonies in bursts of pink and red? Or should it be a single perfect calla lily? This book is a beautiful and reassuring guide to finding the perfect bouquet to complement your wedding dress, celebration, budget, and most importantly, you.

4. Not Your Parents' Marriage: Bold Partnership for a New Generation by Jerome and Kellie Daley.

   This book examines God's dreams for marriage today, based on the scriptures and including honest dialog, fun questionnaires, and space for journaling. It's time to honor what God has done in the past while unlocking the creativity and passion that are unique to your relationship. Whether you are engaged, married, or somewhere on the way, God wants to do a new thing in your relationship. Are you ready to experience it?

5. Wedding Showers by Jennifer Adams.

   This book gives you everything you need to plan and throw the perfect shower. You'll find fun and creative ideas for invitations, themes, decorations, games, party favors and more. The book also features 50 recipes that are just right for a wedding shower, whether you are planning a backyard barbecue, a lunch with coworkers, or an evening with friends. Favorites include everything from apple-cinnamon muffins and mandarin chicken salad to half-hearted cookies and black-bottom banana cream pie.

6. The Feng Shui of Love by T. Raphael Simons.

   T. Raphael Simons, America's leading feng shui expert, teaches readers how to transform their homes to attract, enhance and enrich romantic love in their lives. Based on ancient Taoist secrets that join feng shui and Chinese astrology, Simons' method is personalized through questionnaires and individualized charts. With this book, you can read your personal horoscope and your astrological compatibilities with others in your life, read your romantic fortune according to your door's compass direction, discover your personal element, your relationship element, auspicious compass directions for aligning your furniture, and auspicious colors, discover your "yin / yang" style of relating, and many more.

The Wikipedia adds: "A wedding's particular customs may be varied, mixed, or invented to suit the personalities, interests, and cultural backgrounds of the couple." It is for this reason that experts highly suggest these books to future brides to guide them on the right choices to make and directions to take.

The entire scene takes place on a staircase, a telling diagonal, on which the characters move about like chess pieces. In a game of chess, the movements of the pieces are almost more revealing of the players' styles than the base facts of who won, who lost. By studying just the movements of the pieces, one can discern and measure a player's aggression, thoughtfulness, experience, and strategy. Frost transforms the argument between the spouses into a kind of chess game, revealing the nature of the conflict and the characters more through action and setting than through dialogue.

More so than some of Frost's other dialogue driven poems, such as “Death of the Hired Man,” the setting of “Home Burial” resembles that of a play. This semblance is because the entire scene is confined to the same setting, a staircase with a door at the bottom and a window at the top, throughout the entire poem. The setting is actively involved in the poem from the first stanza, “He saw her from the bottom of the stairs” (55), to the last, “She was opening the door wider” (58). The window at the top of the stairs looks out onto a plot in the backyard where the husband's relatives and the baby are buried. The husband describes the graveyard as “so small the window frames the whole of it” (56). The graveyard is represented solely within the context of the window, inside the window frame; and the window comes to embody the baby's death. The relatives are buried under “three stones of slate and one of marble” (56) while the baby is buried much more ominously under a mound, a fearful excrescence rather than a memorial.

The poem begins with the husband at the bottom of the stairs, him watching his wife, and Amy at the top of the stairs, looking through the window. The placement of both these characters visually presents the conflict immediately to the reader. Both characters share the same problem, represented by the staircase: the grieving of the death and the subsequent change in their relationship. Therefore, both characters start standing on the staircase. However, the couple is standing at opposite ends of this staircase, representing not only their opposing desires and ways of dealing with the problem, but also the path that they must travel to reach the other person.

The husband has literally an upward battle to be in his wife's position; he must climb the staircase to reach the window overlooking the graveyard. Figuratively, this means that he must raise his regard of the baby's death- a higher importance, a stronger sense of grief, and more sensitive- to be close to his wife. At the poem's start, the husband holds the death at a lower importance (he stands at the bottom of the staircase) and is very distanced from the death (he stands the farthest away possible from the mound). Frost uses the husband's position to explain his attitude toward the baby's death without the husband having to speak or even act.

The wife, however, starts at the top of the stairs, closest to the window as possible. Her stationary position tells the reader that she holds the baby's death in great importance and is very attached to it. More interestingly, in order to traverse the staircase, which represents the conflict between the characters, she must travel downward. This slant reflects her outlook of the relationship after the child's death. Looking at the staircase as a line graph, quality of the marriage over time, we see that after the child's death the relationship will fall steadily until it reaches the end of the relationship, represented by the door, the house's exit. This progression reveals why the wife is attached and sympathizes with the baby; for her, the baby's death symbolizes the death of the relationship, for it acts as a cataclysm for the ultimate end of the marriage. The staircase represents, for her, the deterioration of her marriage and the death of her home. Frost uses the character's position in relation to the staircase to reveal her conflict in the poem as well as why she relates significantly to the dead child.

As much as we learn about the problems facing the characters from their starting positions, Frost reveals more about the scene through the actions of the characters. The wife starts heading “down, looking back over her shoulder at some fear” (55). She is looking out the window at the burial site, but why is she looking at it in fear? It is because, as Frost has made evident through the setting, she feels that the death of the child will cause the downfall of the relationship, and she is afraid of this. Since the baby's grave is an unmarked mound of dirt, her concern becomes “some fear,” reflecting the nebulous dreadfulness of the mound.

In most poems, the presence of a window traditionally represents a feeling of freedom for the speaker. However, in this way, the poem does not quell the wife's desire to leave the house, but incites it: the window is a constant reminder of her dead child. The window presents the wife a clear perspective, a transparent lens to view her situation and her baby's death. She can see through the window, nearly into the grave, in a way her husband cannot at the bottom of the stairs.

The first time she makes a more insightful observation through the window's perspective is when she sees her husband digging the grave. She admits to creeping “down the stairs and up the stairs to look again” (56), and repeats that behavior now, as her husband watches her: “She took a doubtful step and then undid it to raise herself and look again” (55). This uneasy footwork shows how she is drawn towards the inside of the grave, a kind of fearful attraction, and hints of her longing to be dead, buried with her son. The strange action “undid” seems out of place, but phonetically resembles a word to describe the living dead, “undead.” She relates with the dead child, and this is the reason she was so appalled at how casually her husband dug the grave. To her, her husband was nonchalantly digging her grave- and this is why she takes personal offense.

As she gets ready to leave the house she says, “I must get out of here” (56). Is it because of the argument or what the husband did? The reason, stated immediately afterwards, is simply: “I must get air,” as if she is the one buried under the mound of dirt. She is not pulled from the house by the idea of freedom, but rather pushed out of the house by a fear of the grave.

This fear proves to the reader that the things her husband does and says are not causally efficacious to her desire to leave. Despite what one gleans from the dialogue, by examining the actions the wife we see that her husband is merely an obstacle for her inevitable exit, rather than the cause for it.

Most of the dialogue deceivingly places emphasis on the husband's speech. She says, though, “Oh, you think the talk is all” (58), revealing to the husband (and the reader) that the actions are what's most important for an understanding of the conflict. Throughout the poem, the husband gropes through his words to say something that will cause her to want to stay, but every time we see her respond through action, as if to tell him that his words are insignificant, and that he cannot change the fact that she is leaving. “'Help me, then,'” he says, pleading for help on forming a question pleasantly. In response, “her fingers moved the latch for all reply” (56), as if telling him that his speaking is not important. He says that they could make an arrangement so that he does not offend her with words. “'Though I don't like such things "twixt those that love,"” he says philosophically. “Two that do [love] can't live together with them.' She moved the latch a little” (57). When he starts speaking generally, even pleasingly, she again twists the handle as if to say that she will still leave even if he is pleasant in his speech. Finally, in the last stanza, the husband yells “'If-you-do!'” while she “was opening the door wider” (58). This shows that even if he intends to use force to make her stay, she will still leave him, for her fear of the baby's grave is too great.

Although the husband “'can't […] speak of his own child he's lost'” because his “words are nearly always an offense” (56) and his wife believes he doesn't “know how to speak” (57), Frost makes it clear that his ability to speak is unimportant. Both characters speak an equal amount of dialogue in the poem, with equal line width. In fact, the characters are both inept with speech, for even after she has “said it all and […] feel[s] better,” she still replies with contempt: “You- oh, you think the talk is all. I must go” (58). Even though she has said all she wanted to say, the words are still insufficient, and she still must leave. Frost shows clearly that the characters' speeches are equally unimportant and misleading, so that the meaning in the poem is found through action and setting.

However, some of the dialogue reinforces the sentiments revealed through action and setting. The wife at one point condemns the husband for not caring enough, saying, “Friends make pretense of following to the grave, but before one is in it their minds are turned and making the best of their way back to life and living people, and things they understand” (58). She says this as if the correct thing to do and the thing that would give her most pleasure would be to die along with the baby. However, since she can't, she must go on living in the world. “But the world's evil,” she says, referring to the carelessness of her husband and the house she must live in. And this is why she feels she must leave the house- to get away from the grave (where she should be, or rather, is), since she cannot physically be dead.

Another theme that the actions and setting reveal is the idea that the couples are having problems sexually. This faltering desire is mirrored in the movements on the staircase, how the husband chases after the wife like hunter and prey. “She withdrew shrinking from beneath his arm that rested on the banister, and slid downstairs” (56). The language used to describe her actions is submissive and dodgy, with words like “withdrew,” “shrinking,” “beneath,” and “slid.” This shows that the husband still believes in the relationship sexually, and he still considers them in love. He regards the baby's death in opposition to their love, for he asks why she took the death of “a first child so inconsolably- in the face of love” (57). However, the wife believes that their love is on a downfall due to the direction of the stairs to the door, and the fact that the graveyard plot is “not so much larger than a bedroom” (56). Relating the size of the plot to a bedroom, where the couple makes love, shows that not only is their relationship on a downfall, but that their love life is literally dead.

Even though the dialogue in “Home Burial” takes a deceiving prominence over the action due to its quantity, the true nature of the conflict between the husband and wife can be discerned only through their actions and their relation to the setting. Frost uses the window, the staircase, and the door to convey that the wife must leave the relationship and the house, not because of her husband's insensitivity or inability to speak well, but because of the fear her connection with the dead child causes her. Frost deceives the reader through dialogue because the characters are similarly deceived. Both the husband and wife believe the problem is in speaking to one another (ironic, for the problem for the reader trying to discern meaning is their speech), something that can be remedied. However, by examining their actions and the setting, we find that the death of the child will inevitably lead to the end of their relationship, that path that is ahead of the wife. Their home was doomed by the child's death, and so the death represented not just the death of the child (or the figurative burial of the wife), but also the burial of the home.

Here was a novel that challenged the custom that single women meet and marry the opposite sex. These two women resigned themselves to a life of tending their farm away from accepted mode of having men and women fulfill classical roles, until coincidentally one of them suggested it was time for them to have a man take care of the "heavy" work.

It is a novel where a lot of prose, with abundant metaphorical references to the fox, lies between dialogues and fills the moments when dialogue would otherwise be used. Often enough dialogue is not necessary as the tables turn around for the women and they become vulnerable to the incarnation of the beast they had been trying to eliminate.

I think then Lawrence could have extended the book to provide a richer text between the would-be lovers because of the quickness of the man's proposal for marriage. Incredibly there hadn't been any romance to lead up to such an event. Others would probably state that is what makes a man more reckless, or makes him more of a boy. In any extent perhaps this was in keeping with the impulsive character of the stranger who would never remain long enough to complete a task when his grandparents were alive on the farm.

One can appreciate the metaphorical references now and then between the intruder's complexion and that of the fox. It was as if here was a fox incarnate who craftily studied the women just as a real fox would size up a chicken coop in order to find an easy point of entry. He appeared to wait for moments when the women had dropped their guard much as a fox would when stalking its prey. There were clear references especially when Marsh made a full admission of how she likened him to the beast.

Other modifications of the book could have occurred between the two women, perhaps if just to show that they had grown too accustomed of each other that the time was ripe for some male distraction. Since Marsh is the cooler of the two, perhaps this is what she secretly wanted from the vantage point of keeping a safe distance for much of time when the three were together.

Another aspect of the book that I find questionable would be the hunting and killing of the real fox by the man. One gets the impression that if the man was disturbed by the women catching onto his design of using them for his convenience, why bother going out and killing the beast in the first place? Perhaps this is Lawrence's way of stating that the intruder was out to eliminate his "rival" or to try to gain points with the women in order to stay on as a lover.

For example, many women have heard the phrase all to often that if they are talented enough to be professionally successful, their chances of getting married were smaller than their chances of being hit by a bus. One can easily see how hearing “wisdom” uttered from peers and influences might cause severe brain drain in among potentially great women. As a man living in the 20th century I have no idea why anyone would tell their daughter, mother, sister, etc this tripe. It simply isn’t true.

Certainly men are very driven by their more aesthetic senses (being attracted to a women’s looks) but in many cases we stay with said women for their brains and ambition. As one radio talk show host once said about dating, water rises to its own level. In most cases, a smart and successful man will want someone that compliments them in all facets. When you marry you (theoretically) share your most intimate thoughts, needs, wants, fears and dreams. Obviously you want the person whom is receiving your soul to be competent, sympathetic, and intelligent to simply get you.

You don’t have to take my word for it; Princeton University professor and prominent journalist for the Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post and the New York Post has written probably the best book on the subject of women and dating titled, “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women.” She not only single-handedly obliterated the myth that smart successful women do in fact marry at the same rate as their not so successful sisters but also (for the purposes of this book) commissioned a Harris Interactive survey to conclusively prove this fact with hard data.

Whelan starts off by singularly identifying and labeling the women in question as SWANS (Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse). Whelan composes her book not only from data in the self-commissioned Harris Interactive survey but also from US Census data and most importantly from the aforementioned SWANS. Whelan conducted multiple in depths interviews with SWANS from cities all across the United States, which lends a personal tone to what would otherwise be a study bound up in hardcover. Hearing the various tales told from the mouths of these so-called SWANS paints a sympathetic picture of truly special and driven women who deserve all that the world has to offer and more. After hearing the trials, tribulations and confessionals of these great SWANS one wonders how anyone in their right mind would object to dating one.

And that is exactly the point of Whelan’s book. According to all of her data there are scores of men from across the spectrum that are lining to date women that are their mental and financial equals, if not their superiors. Whelan spends the bulk of the book looking at several examples of relationships where the men simply adore the women they are with because they are so successful and brilliant. The numbers don’t lie, as Whelan will show you.

She doesn’t just concentrate on dating and marriage. She also shatters many other myths that accompany the fallacy that smart women don’t marry. She rabidly attacks the notion that all women whom have blasted through the glass ceiling are also merciless wenches with a heart of stone. This is where the first person accounts really serve the author well in making the point that just like men, women are professional in the work place and multifaceted in their personal life. A SWAN will do her job to the best of her ability and make the hard choices and then be just as sweet as the proverbial girl next door during the off hours. To think that men are any different is ridiculous in the extreme so it should go without saying that women wouldn’t be any different. Whelan includes this information exactly because the misperception tends to outshine the truth.

Whelan also talks about how with the change in gender roles and expectations, not to mention differential in women with high salaries as opposed to men, there are lots of newly minted househusbands across the American landscape. These are men who are clearly not intimidated by their high earning wives and girlfriends (as it should be) and are perfectly comfortable being the more domestic partner, supporting their significant other as they do battle in the increasingly intense business world. Again, the truth of the matter is that most guys have no problem cooking and cleaning up the house if afforded the opportunity to stay home or be home more often to do so. In line with that, though there are plenty of women who don’t want a house husband or lesser earning boyfriend, many SWANS are comfortable enough with themselves to just be happy with a decent fellow who treats them accordingly rather than being preoccupied with their earning potential.

My only issue with the book is the part about SWANS having children. Whelan states that SWANS will have significantly more successful and fulfilling marriages because they tend to marry later in life and therefore have more maturity and life experience to guide through the prickly briar patch of marriage. This also means that these same SWANS are having children much later in life if at all. I don’t have a problem with that per se. Whelan takes a hard left though when she begins to talk about SWANS opting to forgo finding a partner and going straight to having a child. Whelan is free to believe and promote whatever her opinion of single motherhood is but she should not refer to having a raising a child by ones self in much the same way someone talks about achieving a promotion. As a social worker I found this part to be somewhat lacking in context. Many single mothers do just fine and certainly try their best but the ideal situation is to in fact have a mother and A FATHER. To say otherwise, as she does somewhat by omission is to be intellectually disingenuous. Children are not like pets are some award and they should not be linked to SWANS as if they are a personal achievement. Anyone that has tried to raise a child on their own will tell you that being a parent is not about you, it’s about the safety and sanctity of the child – not the mothers ego or perceived grandeur.

Debates about single motherhood aside, “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women,” is an absolutely excellent book. It is essential reading for teenage girls struggling with their own feelings and thoughts and the perception that they have to dumb themselves down in order to seek validation, attention and approval from guys. It is also essential reading for women in their 20’s and 30’s that need that extra boost that yes, they did the best thing for themselves and they will be rewarded with the best guys possible whom will treat them like the queens that they are. I highly recommend that anyone in the dating realm read, “Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women,” by Christine B. Whelan.