- By William Butler Yeates

When considering great works of poetry, many people picture complicated prose, epic poems and the good old Shakespearean experience.  However, often times, it is the simplest phrase that can bring about the most emotional responses.

My family came to America in October 1991 from Belarus (Former Soviet Republic).  The important element to grasp is that even though minorities cry descrimination and religious groups cry persecution and Americans curse the immigrants, all of these people had more than we did.  My parents had no money, no jobs, and no language.  Despite having little money and little English, my family fought against the hard times and managed to earn their place in American Society. 

Despite their success, my parents always say that my sister and I are their reason for coming to this country, their reason for fighting against the current, and that we were and are their life.  My parent's could not afford to give us riches.  If they had "the heavens' embroidered cloths", they would have draped it on our shoulders and under our feet.  But all my parents truly had was their dreams.  Dreams that my sister and I will go further in life than they did, that we will be instilled with values and morals that my parents infused within us, and that we would always be close to our family.  Those are the dreams on which i tread and i tread ever so softly. 

His entire mood changed when he went to the Hooverville camp. Even though he killed a man, he wasn't necessarily a violent person. However, when he went to the Hooverville camp, the injustice of the officers to the so called “Okies” irritated him deeply. One example includes the confrontation with the officer. The conflict began when Knowles, another “Okie”, demanded to know how much the workers would be getting paid, and a deputy fires wildly into a crowd as Knowles runs to avoid getting arrested. The deputy accidentally shot a woman in the hand which irritated Tom and caused him to take action. Then tripped the deputy and Casey knocked him unconscious and later on took the blame for the whole thing.

Another event that makes Tom a little uneasy is when Connie, Rose of Sharon's husband, runs off and abandons his wife and the baby. This event shows the inhumanity of man towards man. Although Tom doesn't seem to be bothered by many events, these to events in the last few chapters take a toll on him. He is nowhere near as bad as Ma Joad though. Ma Joad has basically given up and we don't really hear from the rest of the family. The family will continue to get smaller until there is no one left.

As if that isn't scary enough, try to imagine what would be going through the minds of the family, knowing that none of them had any knowledge of the sea, navigation or sailing!

This is not fiction but something that really happened!

“Lena, I've bought a boat and we're going to Australia!”

Those were the words that Lena Caisley will remember to her dying day.

Her husband, Don, was not renowned for making light-hearted comments. He didn't have a great deal to say at the best of times, but when he did he made every word count.

“I suppose I should find something to wear,” said Lena, not fully realising the import of what her husband has just said!

“It's an old fishing boat, a bit run down and in need of a complete refit,” said Don. “But it will be perfect to take us to Australia.”

“What do we want to go to Australia for? We have a good business here, and all my friends are here. The boys have a lot of friends here and you were born here, Don!”

Natural arguments from his wife were expected, but in the end she agreed to go.

The Caisleys were a close knit family and had complicit faith in Don, and Don had great faith in his own ability. In his mind's eye he could see exactly how the events of the next couple of years would unfold.

First he had to get the old fishing boat ready for a very long sea voyage. In was filthy and decrepit when he purchased it. The mast was rotten and the engine ready for the tip. Money was also tight, so a proper marine mast and engine would have blown the budget.

Don finally managed to get a telegraph pole turned up to fit and an old double-decker bus engine to replace the original. He thought a few months fitting out the boat - so the family could travel in some sort of comfort, would be sufficient, but the more he worked on Beth - as the old fishing boat was called, the more he realised how much work was still to be done.

It was almost a year from the day he and the seller sailed the old boat over from LeHavre, that Beth was considered fit for his family.

Came the day when the intrepid family boarded for the long trip to Australia.

Provisions and all the stores considered necessary for such a voyage had been loaded and stowed away. Don fired up the engine and cast off. The Caisleys were in holiday mood as Beth sailed out of Southampton Water with the old bus engine thumping steadily, pushing the boat along at 8 knots.

Their first foreign port of call was to be Oporto in Portugal, but, as mentioned previously navigation was not one of their strong points and they got lost! Nobody was particularly worried because they didn't expect to get everything right first time. Eventually they found the port and enjoyed a run ashore while the captain attended to customs and immigration procedures.

On the way across the Atlantic - and still in a somewhat carefree mood, they were heading for the Panama Canal, but first sighted land in Venezuela!

Not a problem, thought Don. We'll just sail around the coast until we see Panama, which they did. Then through the canal and on to something totally unexpected and frightening!

Don had taken Beth across to a quiet beach on the Pacific side of the canal to do some work on the hull, completely unaware of the speed of the tides as they raced in and out of the canal. As the tide went out Beth hit the muddy bottom and rolled over!

The family spent a most uncomfortable night fearful of what would happen when the tide returned.

They watched as the water lapped the sides of the old boat, gradually washing over the deck. A few inches more and the sea water would flood down the hatches and Beth would be lost!

Everything the family owned was in Beth. They would be stranded on a foreign shore and destitute.

Those awful thoughts were on their minds as they watched the water gradually rising towards the open hatches. Just when the level of water reached the combing of the first hatch, Beth started to move. Slowly at first, creaking and groaning as the wooden hull was straining, the movement grew as Beth started to right herself until she was almost afloat and safe.

The family cheered like they had never cheered before. Disaster had been averted and they were saved!

This was just the beginning; there were thousands of miles still to go before Australia. They were in the Pacific and their next port of call was a mere speck in a vast ocean. Whereas with the Atlantic crossing they had the whole coast of South America to aim at, the slightest error in navigation would put them miles off course and in deadly peril!

In the days and weeks ahead there were other problems about to hit them, about which they had no knowledge or control over!

Read this amazing true story as told to the author by Don Caisley

Video Trailer

Also here:  http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1588041/voyage_of_a_lifetime_by_paul_england_book_trailer/

For fifteen year old Nancy, the addiction is cutting.  Nancy does not have many friends to confide in and does not know other ways to release the pain.  Her best friend is Katie, and she cuts as well. 

They do not cut themselves by accident, they do it purposely and regularly.  Like any other addiction, it became habit for them. 

Now, I am not going to go into a whole long winded speech about the addiction this author writes about, however there are a few things I want to point out.  First off, everybody knows it is a bad thing to start, even if they are a cutter.  You are an abuser and the victim at the same time. 

Those that cut do have their reasons of course.  Perhaps it is because physical pain is comforting, or easier to deal with.  Some may say they cut as a form of punishment.  Needless to say there are many different reasons someone succumbs to the addiction. 

Nancy and Katie also do drugs and drink alcohol- vodka preferably.  It is not necessarily an addiction like the cutting for them, but it does seem to be problematic.  Her parents were alcoholics as well, but in the end they go to alcoholics anonymous to get help. 

Nancy has a boyfriend, Mike.  He was a Senior while Nancy was a Sophomore.  Mike drank as well, but never as much as nancy ever did.  He did not like any of Nancy's addictions and tried to stop her countless times.

Eventually Nancy's problems became too huge to deal with, so she was sent to a mental hospital, an every day she had to talk to Dr. Pear Butt ( the name other patients affectionately gave him). 

After she gets out of the mental hospital, things are different for Nancy.  School, homelife, friends, etc...

What happened between her and her family?  The relationship (or lack thereof) with Mike?  How is her best friend, Katie? 

Well, to find out these answers I suggest you find a copy of the book and find out for yourself. 

Shelley Stoehr's book Crosses is a great book about pain, addiction, depression, best friends, love, family, among a list of many other things.  In my opinion, it is well worth the read.

This book reminded me of the old saying, "perception is reality". We all see things from our own perspective, the same events are viewed differently by each person involved...so it is with raising children and being a part of a family. You can all belong to the same family, live through the same events, and yet each member of the family has completely different, conflicting memories. Does that mean one person's memory or perception of the way things were, or what took place is inherently right or wrong? Experts say no, because perception is reality, we are all equally right. We are just each seeing it from our own point of view.

So while as parents we believe that we did the very best we could, based on the knowledge, information and resources we had at the time-sacrificed and compromised, made difficult choices in order to be the best possible parents-our children can be equally convinced we were the worst possible parents who ever walked the face of the earth.

Dr Coleman points out that both points of view may be completely accurate, based on each person's perspective. The bottom line is that as parents we are simply flawed human beings, just like everyone else. We make mistakes, screw up, blow it, and hopefully learn something along the way about how to be a better parent. Whether or not our children chose to love us, accept us as the flawed, imperfect people we are, and someday find within themselves the ability to forgive us for our mistakes, is up to them.

In the meantime, parents need to learn and practice self-compassion, and how to forgive ourselves. Could we have done it differently/better? Of course, but hindsight is 20/20. We can't change the past. One of the mottos often quoted at my job is, Today I did my best, tomorrow I'll do better. I just try to remember  that the time will come, long after I'm gone, when my own children will be standing in my shoes, facing the criticism and condemnation of their own children.

The bottom line is that no matter who you are, no matter how hard you try, you are not perfect. And being a parent is one of those jobs where no matter what you do, what choice you make, which path you take, somebody is going to pass judgement on you for being wrong. Because as a parent you can't ever get it right 100% of the time. More often then not, you'll blow it. And the harshest critics in the world (other than yourself) will be your children.

The above is what I learned from Dr. Coleman's book, combined with some of my own experience. The following are direct quotes...maybe it will strike a chord with other parents who are struggling with the same issues I am. (bold print is my own emphasis)

...despite all of your efforts and regardless of your innocence, we have to start by accepting your child's view that you could have done it differently: loved more, pushed more, or worried less...And even though you tried as hard as you could, read self-help books, and consulted other parents, pediatricians, learning specialists, social skills consultants, your therapist, or your kids' therapist, your children still have a right to complain that you didn't do enough.

One of the cruelest ironies of parenting is that we can do harm even when we are trying to be the most concientious.

As parents, we have to accept the fact that we may have created problems for our children, even when we were making sacrifices and trying to do our absolute best.

You want to be able to say to yourself, "I tried everything that I could and it hasn't worked. Everyone makes mistakes in life. I am deserving of compassion, if not from my child, then from others and myself. I need to stop punishing myself."

***Often, too, kids need to blame us so they don't blame themselves. Children who are burdened with a difficult temperament or with some other malady can carry huge feelings of shame and self-loathing. For better or worse, criticizing the parent for not doing enough or for getting it all wrong is one strategy for relieving themselves of this burden. It may not feel fair, but parenting isn't a fair exchange of effort for reward. It's more like an exchange of effort for seeing what the hell happens next.***

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you turn a blind eye to being mistreated by your children or others, or that you never get angry. It doesn't mean that you are required to have a relationship with the person who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to accept, condone, or respect the behavior of those who have caused you to suffer.

Forgiveness of yourself and others is important because it is a way of taking back your power, taking responsibility for how you feel, and focusing on your own healing.

Nathanson suggests that an "empathetic wall" is a healthy and necessary part of human development, because without it, we'd be vulnerable to picking up the transmissions of every being around us...it's what I call affectionatly detached-you're detached enough to prevent every pore of your skin from being open to the acid rain that's about to fall on you...

What's a parent to do for their child when they've offered help, frequently way past the point of utility, and nothing has changed? Often precious little...What else is there? They can't lead his life for him.

Gaining serenity comes in accepting what can't be changed, forgiving your child and  yourself, and experiencing gratitude for what is good with or without your child.

Why work so hard for a child whose thanklessnes, in Shakespeare's words, is sharper than a serpent's tooth? Because being a parent means giving when you're getting nothing back  in the short term, and may get nothing back in the long-term. It's not pretty, but it's what we sign up for when we have children, so we don't get to feel that sorry for ourselves. Okay, we do get to feel sorry for ourselves-a child's rejection is incredibly painful. But we still have to do the grunt work of parenting, even when we get little (or nothing) back.

There is so much wisdom in Al-Anon's saying, "I first detached in anger, then in indifference, then in love." Anger is a useful step to begin grieving. But it's an early step, not a final one. Healing requires the willingness to eventually let go of your anger and move towards forgiveness...

While being estranged from your adult children can be heartbreaking, it is something you can survive. From experience I can tell you that life can still be good, even if your children have chosen not to include you in their lives.

Now it's been ten years since their coming, and Annie has settled down in her isolated house, surrounded by olive threes and neighbours with very many opinions about everything. Her sister has temporarily moved to Bulgaria to tech English and Anne is alone. Well, not quite alone for the friend of long time, Ciccio, a local chef and a son of a local family, has proven to be much more than a friend and is now practically living with her. Though this has to be kept as a secret because of the more and less old fashioned neighbours and Ciccio's loud and bustling family who grove olives, wine, vegetable and chicken and who consider it to their matter to be in charge of every member's life.

Well, as secrets tend to spread, soon Annie finds herself in the middle of Ciccio's family's responsibilities of dinners, harvesting and helping family in everything no matter what your own interests might be. But instead of approaching this as an uptight English person, tied to her own thoughts and routines, her flexible and humble attitude wins the hearts of the parent's in law and more as an amused onlooker she views and follows the ancient customs of farming and family life.

But the Italian family life isn't her only problem as the roof of the old house seems to be in the danger. The unknown and unnamed bug is eating the logs from inside and most of the estimations about the future of the house end up in the collation of the roof in the first autumn storm. It doesn't help that each member of the village seems to have different opinion on how she should act. Well, finally everything gets sorted out, but only after a long Italian confusion of trust, bias, misunderstandings.

Ripe for picking is one of the most entertaining books I've red for a long time. It is full of sparkling wit, clever observation of different culture and excellent language. Hawes has made an unusual but very well functioning decision of reducing dialogue so that it's inserted into the actual storytelling. This makes the narration very readable and adds extra humour into the story. And the use of Italian words in the text adds feeling to the story; it makes the cultural feeling stronger, such as the use of La Mama instead of mother. It communicates very strongly the matriarchal position the mother has in the Italian family, as well as the love and affection the offspring feel for her.

Annie Hawes' Ripe for picking is an excellent book and definitely worth of reading. And you should also be equipped with a good cookery book of Italian food because the description of the delicious food and preparation of it awakes an irresistible need for pasta, fresh rucola pesto and tomatoes, and many many other dishes.

Hopkins' books are real and raw and Crank does not fall short of that endeavor.

Her book shows the highs and the lows of trying the drug and becoming addicted.

In the novel, it all starts when the main character, Kristina Georgia Snow is sent to her fathers house in Albuquerque, far from her home in Reno and far different than what she imagined the trip to be.

There she meets Adam, A.K.A. Buddy. It is Buddy who introduces Kristina to the monster.

Kristina called herself Bree to the new people she met. Bree was her alter-ego. Someone who was outgoing and carefree while Kristina was held back and shy.

Bree (and Kristina perhaps) fell in love with Buddy (or was it Adam?) but eventually Kristina had to go back home to Reno. They wrote letters back and forth after she returned home, but their love did not last.

At this point she was addicted to the monster and needed to get her hands on it. Anyway she could. In trying to find the monster she wound up dating two guys. Chase and Brendon.

Chase ended up leaving for college sometime after they fell in love and Brendon raped her. At the end of the book she learned that she was going to have a baby.

Guess whose it was?

I will leave that one as a surprise for those who have not read the book yet.

The ending of this book is not as tragic as the others Ellen Hopkins has written, however there is a sequel to Crank called Glass.

I think her book Crank is just amazing, and so full of truth.

What do you think?