Tips for turning children into readers

1. Read aloud from earliest childhood. This time together can often extend well into middle-school years. Children love to “hear” stories.
2. Let your children see you read. Not magazines, books!
3. Instill a respect for books early. Have a special place for books and visit the library early in life, and often. Include bookstores in trips to the mall even if just to browse.
4. When things get hectic and you need some peace, declare 10 minutes of DEAR time - Drop Everything And Read. That includes you. Set a timer and everyone in the house reads for 10 minutes.
5. Use audio books for car rides and waiting in line for things. The child will love a cassette or DVD player dedicated to books for times like these.

There are some books that are must haves/must reads for children as they learn to love reading. Below is a list of age-appropriate selections. Any of these can be found in a library, online, or in most major bookstores. Some may even be selections for story time at local children's bookstores or libraries. You may recognize some from your childhood. Rediscover them with your children.

Ages 0-5

• Goodnight Moon
• The Very Hungry Caterpillar
• ANY Dr. Seuss book
• On The Night You Were Born
• Where the Wild Things Are
• Make Way for Ducklings
• The Little Engine That Could
• Curious George
• The Tales of Peter Rabbit
• Babar
• Black on White
• Tomie dePaola's Mother Goose
• Pat the Bunny
• Ages 3-7
• Winnie the Pooh series
• Stuart Little
• Corduroy
• Paddington Bear
• Harold and the Purple Crayon
• Tikki Tikki Tembo
• Madeline
• Ages 6-10
• Tom Sawyer
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
• Pippi Longstocking
• Beezus and Ramona
• Superfudge
• The Little Prince
• Stellaluna
• Charlotte's Web
• The Polar Express
• From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
• Bunnicula
• Ages 8-12
• The Yearling
• Anne of Green Gables
• Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing
• Sarah Plain and Tall
• Henry Huggins
• Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh
• The Incredible Journey
• Old Yeller
• Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes
• The Indian in the Cupboard
• How to Eat Fried Worms
• Giving Tree
• Where the Sidewalk Ends
• A Light in the Attic
• Chronicles of Narnia
• The Little House series
• Little Women
• Inkheart
• The Boxcar Children
• Tuck Everlasting

Kate Winslet plays Sarah who doesn’t fit in among the other mothers, whose older husband is getting his kicks from the internet. Brad (Patrick Wilson) is a dissatisfied house husband of beautiful filmmaker Kathy (Jennifer Connelly) who uses sport as a way of deferring the law exams he’s too scared to resit.

Drawing parallels with Madame Bovary, Sarah and Brad begin an affair, which ends less tragically but is still tainted with the book’s knowing cynicism. Unusually, the novel’s inner thoughts are translated as a third person voiceover – a frustrating device. Uncomfortable viewing at times, this deals with hard issues in a way that avoids judgment or easy answers, but is ultimately a little unsatisfactory. ER

• "The Ugly Duckling"
• "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
• "Snow White and Rose Red"
• "Rikki Tikki Tavi"
• "Cinderella"
• "Blue Beard"

What was different about "The Children's Book of Treasured Tales" was that the stories
were the longer versions of the fairy tales commonly told.  For example, in ' Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' the wicked Step  Mother tries not just once, but three times to do away with Snow White. She tries the poisoned comb, strangling Snow White with the lace, and then the poisoned apple. The Dwarves do not have names.

There are more fairy tales such as

• "Aesop's Fables"
• "Ali Baba and the 40 thieves"

I actually read or was read these versions before I ever heard of the more  well known versions. I prefer them, I am sure most people remember more fondly versions of stories the way are told or learn them.

My favorite stories out of "The Children's Book of Treasured Tales" are

• "Snow White and Rose Red"
• "The Wizard of Oz" collections
• "Sleeping Beauty"

There are many more stories in the book obviously, I don' t have enough time or paper to list them all. (Plus you would get bored).

I gave the book to a cousin several years ago and never received it back.  I have tried to find the book other places but have not succeeded, especially that version, ( which was 1974).  At least I had the pleasure of enjoying the stories from 'The Children's Book of Treasured Tales" for as long as I did.

This book reminded me of the old saying, "perception is reality". We all see things from our own perspective, the same events are viewed differently by each person involved...so it is with raising children and being a part of a family. You can all belong to the same family, live through the same events, and yet each member of the family has completely different, conflicting memories. Does that mean one person's memory or perception of the way things were, or what took place is inherently right or wrong? Experts say no, because perception is reality, we are all equally right. We are just each seeing it from our own point of view.

So while as parents we believe that we did the very best we could, based on the knowledge, information and resources we had at the time-sacrificed and compromised, made difficult choices in order to be the best possible parents-our children can be equally convinced we were the worst possible parents who ever walked the face of the earth.

Dr Coleman points out that both points of view may be completely accurate, based on each person's perspective. The bottom line is that as parents we are simply flawed human beings, just like everyone else. We make mistakes, screw up, blow it, and hopefully learn something along the way about how to be a better parent. Whether or not our children chose to love us, accept us as the flawed, imperfect people we are, and someday find within themselves the ability to forgive us for our mistakes, is up to them.

In the meantime, parents need to learn and practice self-compassion, and how to forgive ourselves. Could we have done it differently/better? Of course, but hindsight is 20/20. We can't change the past. One of the mottos often quoted at my job is, Today I did my best, tomorrow I'll do better. I just try to remember  that the time will come, long after I'm gone, when my own children will be standing in my shoes, facing the criticism and condemnation of their own children.

The bottom line is that no matter who you are, no matter how hard you try, you are not perfect. And being a parent is one of those jobs where no matter what you do, what choice you make, which path you take, somebody is going to pass judgement on you for being wrong. Because as a parent you can't ever get it right 100% of the time. More often then not, you'll blow it. And the harshest critics in the world (other than yourself) will be your children.

The above is what I learned from Dr. Coleman's book, combined with some of my own experience. The following are direct quotes...maybe it will strike a chord with other parents who are struggling with the same issues I am. (bold print is my own emphasis)

...despite all of your efforts and regardless of your innocence, we have to start by accepting your child's view that you could have done it differently: loved more, pushed more, or worried less...And even though you tried as hard as you could, read self-help books, and consulted other parents, pediatricians, learning specialists, social skills consultants, your therapist, or your kids' therapist, your children still have a right to complain that you didn't do enough.

One of the cruelest ironies of parenting is that we can do harm even when we are trying to be the most concientious.

As parents, we have to accept the fact that we may have created problems for our children, even when we were making sacrifices and trying to do our absolute best.

You want to be able to say to yourself, "I tried everything that I could and it hasn't worked. Everyone makes mistakes in life. I am deserving of compassion, if not from my child, then from others and myself. I need to stop punishing myself."

***Often, too, kids need to blame us so they don't blame themselves. Children who are burdened with a difficult temperament or with some other malady can carry huge feelings of shame and self-loathing. For better or worse, criticizing the parent for not doing enough or for getting it all wrong is one strategy for relieving themselves of this burden. It may not feel fair, but parenting isn't a fair exchange of effort for reward. It's more like an exchange of effort for seeing what the hell happens next.***

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you turn a blind eye to being mistreated by your children or others, or that you never get angry. It doesn't mean that you are required to have a relationship with the person who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to accept, condone, or respect the behavior of those who have caused you to suffer.

Forgiveness of yourself and others is important because it is a way of taking back your power, taking responsibility for how you feel, and focusing on your own healing.

Nathanson suggests that an "empathetic wall" is a healthy and necessary part of human development, because without it, we'd be vulnerable to picking up the transmissions of every being around us...it's what I call affectionatly detached-you're detached enough to prevent every pore of your skin from being open to the acid rain that's about to fall on you...

What's a parent to do for their child when they've offered help, frequently way past the point of utility, and nothing has changed? Often precious little...What else is there? They can't lead his life for him.

Gaining serenity comes in accepting what can't be changed, forgiving your child and  yourself, and experiencing gratitude for what is good with or without your child.

Why work so hard for a child whose thanklessnes, in Shakespeare's words, is sharper than a serpent's tooth? Because being a parent means giving when you're getting nothing back  in the short term, and may get nothing back in the long-term. It's not pretty, but it's what we sign up for when we have children, so we don't get to feel that sorry for ourselves. Okay, we do get to feel sorry for ourselves-a child's rejection is incredibly painful. But we still have to do the grunt work of parenting, even when we get little (or nothing) back.

There is so much wisdom in Al-Anon's saying, "I first detached in anger, then in indifference, then in love." Anger is a useful step to begin grieving. But it's an early step, not a final one. Healing requires the willingness to eventually let go of your anger and move towards forgiveness...

While being estranged from your adult children can be heartbreaking, it is something you can survive. From experience I can tell you that life can still be good, even if your children have chosen not to include you in their lives.

The book, for those of you who may have had your head stuck in a sand-pit since 1997, focuses on the adventures of Harry Potter, a mistreated orphan who is whisked away to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Not only is the book about magic spells, eccentric wizards and witches and flying broomsticks, but we also follow Harry as he experiences starting at a new school and making new friends - something that many children are themselves able to identify with.

One of the beauties of J.K. Rowling's writing is that she uses a language that is straightforward but not overly simplistic to the point of being patronising to the younger reader. As I'm sure most of you have read at least some of the Harry Potter series you will probably agree that the author has a strong narrative style to her writing and a strong plot that keeps you reading to the last page.

Pemberton is being introduced here as Mrs. Moreen is here explaining to him everything he needed to know to tutor Morgan, everything except his salary. This in itself seems a bit what would be not normal, as seen by Pemberton's nervousness and hesitation. From the reference to Nice, we can know that Pemberton is an Oxford graduate who is a “poor young man” and is thus looking for some form of money. Through this interaction, we can see that Mrs. Moreen is trying to hide something or be elusive and is not being frank to Pemberton about his wages and Pemberton is too nervous to speak up about it until the end, showing that his reluctance may due to the fact that he wanted to make money but then again, his employer might be too imposing to his character. Thus Pemberton's relationship to Mrs. Moreen can simply be of an employee to an employer.

However the relationship of Mrs. Moreen to her son is quite different when she sends him to “fetch” her fan. She thinks very lowly of him and this is true when Pemberton says that she uttered things that a “boy of eleven shouldn't catch.” Then she mentions a “weakness” with her son and from what Pemberton is thinking, we can gather that is some heart condition. This can help characterize Mrs. Moreen, who knows about her son's condition and thus is hiring someone to educate her son and not discussing the wages, probably because she is not able to pay him. Mrs. Moreen's relationship with Morgan is of a very loving parent who wants to teach Morgan things in life, even though he is at the “mercy of a weakness” and she is going to do this by hiring Pemberton and promising him that his wages will be “quite regular.” What is ironical and perhaps foreshadowing what will happen is when Pemberton says that people have varying perception of what is “quite regular.”

Pemberton and Morgan seems to share a special connection compared to the mother. When Morgan sees him first, he is giving Pemberton a look of confusion and looks straight at Pemberton for “taking his education in hand.” The first reaction or analysis of Pemberton is to teach Morgan how to address his mother in his response, not causally. Right away, Pemberton begins a role as a teacher without even fully taking charge of his pupil. Pemberton begins to analyze and connect the “dots” with Morgan, as to why he is not so “robust” and how he seems to look intelligent but a bit “unpleasant.” Right away Pemberton seems to connect to Morgan and Morgan to Pemberton and this is evident especially when Mrs. Morgan gets up to leave and Pemberton takes the job without a definite salary being promised to him, very unlikely for others in his field of work.

The whole tone of the passage is filled with curiosity as one character seems to probe and explore his new pupil and his family. From Pemberton's point of view, we can see that Morgan is quite sickly boy that needs attention and that he is also intelligent and clever. Also from Pemberton's point of view, we can understand that Mrs. Moreen's family might not be so good because Morgan did not have a proper education as seen by his casual response to his mother. The dialogue between Pemberton and Mrs. Moreen also facilitates much of what happens in the story and sheds light onto Morgan, who is never directly involved in interaction with Pemberton.

Pemberton and Morgan seems to develop a new bond and Mrs. Moreen seems to be a bit shady character as she promises a salary but never defines exactly what it is. Pemberton's point of view sheds light onto Morgan who is a very sickly character and Mrs. Moreen who seems to be a “large addable lady.” A very peculiar inquiring tone is seen in this passage by Henry James and Pemberton seems to be reluctant and at the same time enjoying this new charge that has been given to him. Overall, Henry James uses variety of techniques including Tone, Point of View and Dialogue to show the unique relationship between Pemberton, Mrs. Moreen and Morgan Moreen throughout his passage from the novel, “The Pupil.”

Bedtime stories opens the door for Children's development, and expanding of knowledge, while at the same time laying down a strong foundation, for language learning, bedtime story gives a subtly method of teaching children how to appreciate life and be considerate to others.

Nursery rhymes read at bedtime, can present the greatest opportunity, for parents to share quality time with their young children; from the age of 12 months onwards, children can assimilate with sounds and get used to different wave length of sounds rising and falling. Bedtime stories can fill the imagination with adventures and happy endings.

Telling bedtime stories can definitely be a time of sharing laughter, and bonding closer together. It develops into a routine that children look forward to, and becomes a perfect play time with the imagination; parents can make the stories enjoyable and happy.

After their shower or bath, the scene is set for children to have pleasant evening of interest with parents, it's a time when you can get the attention of your children, for the most part of the day, children may have been crying, playing or sleeping, but when real bedtime comes around, children love to hear good bedtime stories, and then they ask sleepy questions.

Bedtime story, read with joyful interest, can be a time of moral resourcefulness, where parents share their extended education, done often enough on a regular basis, there is lots of wisdom and knowledge that can be gleamed from listening to a bed time story. Sharing those soft moments offers good family entertainment.

Stories that you can read at bedtime varies, from childish adventures to fairy tale fantasy, however, the book does not have to specify exclusively bedtime, but try to bear in mind that bedtime story for younger children should be short, because of their concentration span.

Stories should be interesting as well as funny, if the child is under 6 months reading stories will achieve very little, For older children collected stories with define aims will encourages them to think and make their own assessment.

The most popular bedtime stories are wonderfully narrated, and they never seemed out of date, especially when the reader animates the stories with their voice, the classics are really worth listening to.

• Cinderella and the glass slipper,
• Little Red Riding Hood
• The three little Pigs
• The Ugly Duckling
• The Golden Goose
• The Hare and the Tortoise
• Sleeping Beauty
• Jack and the Beanstalk.

The bible has a great selection of stories, choosing which one to read, may depend on weather it's a boy or girl, who will be listening to the stories, the bible offers more on the masculine genre than for a female, and many of the stories are also taught again in Sunday school.

You could begin with the story of the nativity, or Joseph coat of many colours, the bible is good for instilling moral standards. In older children.

Enid Blyton perhaps is one of the more popular bedtime stories to read, the catchy titles easily jump to mind, almost guaranteeing the desired result. The Ugly Old Scarecrow, The Little Brown Bear, children loves these kinds of stories. And they go off to sleep in happier frame of mind

Bedtime stories can be found in popular bookshops, as well as the local libraries, bedtime stories can also be listening to on audio CD which helps to relax the children.

Here is a list of some great stories you and your child will love:

1. The Caboose Who Got Loose by Bill Peet

   If your little one enjoys trains, this is a wonderful story of a caboose who is unhappy with her life at the end of the train.

2. Walter the Farting Dog by William Kotzwinkle, Glenn Murray and Audrey Colman

   Yes, it's a crude title and subject, but the story is well-written and you can't help but love Walter.

3. My Big Dog by Janet Stevens and Susan Stevens Crummel

   Merl, a cat who is set in his way, is miffed when a new puppy is added to the household. The characters are so real...these writers definitely understand cats and dogs and the people who think they own them.

4. Edward the Emu by Sheena Knowles and Rod Clement

   "Edward the emu was sick of the zoo,
   There was nowhere to go, there was nothing to do,
   And compared to the seals that lived right next door,
   Well being an emu was frankly a bore." That's the beginning of Edward the Emu and the rest is as good or even better. It's a great story about being who you are.

5. Click, Clack, Moo: Cows that Type by Doreen Cronin and Betsy Lewin

   This is a short, hilarious tale about what happens when cows start making demands of the farmer and are willing to go to great lengths until he addresses their grievances.

6. The Relatives Came by Cynthia Rylant and Stephen Gammell

   Such a well-written book deserves to be read again and again to youngsters, although the adults may enjoy it as much or more than the kiddos.

7. The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins by Dr. Seuss

   It's a lot of reading and there are some rather grim scenes, but it's still a great story that keeps the attention of both young and old.

If any of these books have been missed by your radar when looking for great children's books, pick up one or two and give them a read with your favorite five-year-old child and be prepared for many requests to "read it again."