Blanche is a very fake character who only seems to care about status and her appearance.  This is evident when she speaks with Stella and says, “I brought nice clothes and I’ll wear them” (23).  Blanche obviously wants attention and she seems to think that the only way she will get it is if she dresses well.  She thinks people only like those of high class, so she feels that is how she needs to dress.  It is obvious that Blanche cares a lot about her appearance when Stanley goes through her trunk and says to Stella, “Look at these feathers and furs she come here to preen herself in!”  (35).  Stanley can tell that Blanche only cares about her looks just by looking at the kind of clothing she has.  He seems to be the only one who thinks she is crazy for not caring about much else.  Blanche only cares about looking and dressing like something she’s not, and Stanley is the only one who sees right through her.

Blanche has extreme problems with anxiety that she copes with in very unhealthy ways.  One way she deals with her problems is binge drinking.  This is shown when she first arrives at Stanley and Stella’s house and “she springs up and crosses to [a closet], and removes a whiskey bottle.  She pours a half tumbler of whiskey and tosses it down” (18).  She is obviously anxious for Stanley and Stella’s arrival home since they aren’t aware that she’s already arrived.  In an attempt to calm her nerves, she turns to alcohol.  Another way she copes with anxiety is by becoming physically sick.  This occurs when Stanley gives her a train ticket back home and “Blanche tries to smile.  Then she tries to laugh.  Then she gives both up and springs from the table and runs into the next room.  She clutches her throat and then runs into the bathroom” (111).  When Blanche doesn’t know how to deal with something emotionally, her body handles it physically.  She doesn’t seem to know any healthier ways to deal with her feelings of anxiety.

Blanche feels that since she couldn’t turn a gay man straight, she isn’t good enough, which has a devastating effect on her behavior.  She has extreme insecurities about her looks, which is evident when Mitch mentions that he has never seen her in direct light.  He tells her he is going to turn on the light and Blanche replies fearfully, “Light?  Which light?  What for?”  (116).  She is afraid that if Mitch sees her in the light, he will see all of her imperfections and he will not like her anymore.  The light symbolizes this insecurity that she has, which is why she tries to avoid it at all costs.  On top of her insecurities about her looks, Blanche also develops a very promiscuous behavior.  She doesn’t think it’s a big deal until Mitch confronts her: “Oh, I knew you weren’t sixteen anymore.  But I was a fool enough to believe you was straight” (117).  Until Mitch confronts her about her behavior, Blanche believes it is okay because it’s the only thing that makes her feel better about herself.  Since she couldn’t be enough for her gay ex-husband, she hopes she can be good enough for these other men.  Blanche’s evasive and promiscuous behavior are brought on by her not being good enough for her ex-husband.

Through Williams’ use of symbolism, Blanche’s shallow and insecure character becomes more defined, as do her unhealthy ways of dealing with her emotional issues.  Symbolism is one of the most profound literary devices an author can use to relate two seemingly different things to one another.

Sadly, we've also read some books that were not even close to their true potential. Clusters of ill-conceived ideas, mangled sentence structure and the lack of a plot can all make you shut such a book at a moment's notice.

Would you like to know what makes me cringe? I was recently asked to read someone's work that they had been promoting for months. The anticipation of beholding the first chapter and tearing into it like a medium-well steak made my blood boil with excitement. Soon, it would be upon me like a theif in the night, on top of me like the roof over my head.

I could stand it no more. The hype had driven me mad. The day came when the first chapter was ready for hungry eyes and I greedily snapped it up like a fish on a hook, eager to taste what could very well be the "Next Big Thing".

My jaw dropped. Months of waiting on this first piece of narrative made me want to cry inside. I was at a loss for words. Run-on sentences, boring plot, horrendous grammar errors displayed for the world to see-- I wanted to vomit.

Truth of the matter is, I love what I do. While I do it in my spare time, I consider it more of a career than a stupid little hobby I occasionally find time for. When someone writes garbage like this, it's like they just don't care. Words on a page, that's all they are.

The problem with this line of thinking is this. If you're just spewing dirt across the page, people aren't going to waste their time with your work. In fact, they're more likely to never read or purchase (That means BUY!!) any of your future work!!

I'll try to be short and sweet on this. You need to show me the reason why I'm bothering to read your content. Is this an original piece? Does it make sense? Several things on the example I spoke of earlier stood out, which I'd like to expand on. It was about an alien race taking over the earth. If I'm being honest, I yawned.

The concept is nothing new, but if written correctly, it can be regarded as an "incredible book." I always argue that people are capable of taking an overdone scenario and make it their own. Let's explore just how.

Plot

Your plot is what propels your storyline. In my book Carnal Instinct, Becky has just broken up with Arnold because he's moving 4 hours away. Somewhere in her heart, she realizes she is wrong, but it's too late. He's found someone else. And thus, begins her quest to reclaim 'what is rightfully hers.'

Character Development

Nobody likes cardboard characters. "Hello, Joey. How are you feeling?" This might be appropriate for a teacher to ask a student, but feels awkward if a third grader is speaking with a friend. Remove such awkwardness and if a character is constantly being challenged emotionally, socially and physically, (though not neccessarily all in each book per se) you should be on the road to greatness.

Spelling/ Grammar

I promise you; when I see things like this, I close a blog and shut a book. "i thought it was cool when i went over too the rivver it was cold and weyt and i took a swim my best friend came over after school and had a snakk with me it was cool." Disgusting and unprofessional.

Memorable?

Ten years from now, will I remember any of the content? What exactly was it that stuck with me? In my brand new book, GROUND, I've been told by various people how 'messed up' it is. They've given me examples of how their favorite scenes were acted out. The nice thing is, they have trouble choosing exactly the same scene. One might be the warden getting what's coming to him, or finding out what's going on in the prison. Whatever the case, make your readers nod in enjoyment.

Powerful?

Regardless of whether or not you're writing a romance novel or a chunky gore horror story, keep in mind that you need to keep your reader entertained. With a movie, you generally have the first 5 or ten minutes to catch your viewer's attention. With a book, it's much harder to guage. Grab them from the first pages of Chapter One, and never let go.

Know your audience!

This is very important! Who is going to be reading your work? If it's riddled with profanity and blood, I do hope you're not shopping it to Scholastic. Seriously.

Proper conclusions

While it's true the bad guy doesn't always win, there are many different options to explore. Does the bad guy get the girl? Does the hero get killed at the end? Make it interesting and make us drop our jaws when our hero does something you would have never imagined.

Thank you for reading my tips on what (to me) makes a great book.

1. Having a root canal
2. Being stung by a swarm of bees
3. Having a colonoscopy
4. Being audited by the IRS
5. Seeing five hours of videos featuring Barney and friends
6. Being rushed to the hospital because of kidney stones
7. Being in labor
8. Walking over a bed of hot coals
9. Being bit by a rattlesnake
10. Listening to Sarah Palin give a two hour lecture on the joys of abstinence
11. Walking barefoot on a path full of sharp stones
12. Jumping into a pool of eels
13. Having sunburn the length of your body
14. Being surrounded by hungry, white sharks
15. Having your loose tooth pulled out with pliers

The first three books in Vittachi's detective series don't appear to have made it to the "outside" world, so I can only comment on those that follow, since they've been published in Australia.

The Shanghai Union of Industrial Mystics is number four in the series. Wong and his perennial young Australian sidekick, Joyce McQuinnie, who, much to his annoyance, has been foisted

upon him as his assistant, solve mysteries that crop up in the course of their Feng Shui business. I use the word "solve" in a loose sense. Wong and McQuinnie are certainly more innovative that McCall Smith s Precious Ramotswe, and in this book they get into far more hot water than that "traditionally-built" woman ever does, but don't go looking for the P D James type of mystery here. Much of what happens to them is accidental (and occidental), and only native wit, the Asian worldview and happenstance get them out of some of their scrapes.

In this book, Vittachi is a writer who can't keep a straight face for more than two minutes - even when he's being serious. On one hand he writes of the very real concerns of vegans regarding people who want to eat animals that are killed before their eyes, of some very nasty "poetic justice" deaths, and of the destruction of the Uyghur culture by the Chinese. On the other he gives us the hilarious exchange between Wong and an official who's about to demolish Wong's office while he's still in it, the shifting of a large, sleepy elephant through a traffic jam, and the cultural battle between an agenda-driven US secret service agent serving the POTUS (work it out!) and his female Chinese counterpart.

The central section of the book with its descriptions of animals dying unpleasant deaths isn't for the squeamish. Nor is its sequel, in which some of the eaters are given their own just desserts. Apart from this, the book speeds wildly along as though it was made up a page at a time. In fact it's better crafted in terms of plot than it appears.

The next book, The Feng Shui Detective's Casebook, is a series of short stories, something that wasn't apparent to me until I came to the end of what appeared to be the first chapter, and discovered there was nothing more about the episode of the tiger in the supermarket.

That slight disappointment out of the way, I enjoyed this second encounter with the middle-aged geomancer C F Wong. Wong is "not a heroic man," he's seemingly out of touch with modern technology, and he likes to eat Asian dishes in a fashion that some Westerners might find disturbing. His love/hate relationship with Joyce McQuinnie continues. She somehow manages to remain a perpetual late teenager, forever falling in love with charming young Asian men without understanding very much about them.

The two characters again solve a variety of odd mysteries by using native wit, instinct and a sometimes devious means. The mysteries themselves aren't cunningly devised so it's possible that readers more astute than me might solve most of them long before Wong and McQuinnie. But I've always been a bit slow when it comes to solving mysteries.

Nevertheless what makes these two books so readable is the witty authorial comment, the quite un-PC view Vittachi has of his fellow Asians, and a delightful playfulness with the English language. And at the beginning of each chapter is an extract from Wong's ongoing masterwork: Some Gleanings of Oriental Wisdom. The Zen-type writing here is both humorous and wise.

While The Shanghai Union was full of word play, vivid writing and, had a tidy plot amongst all the mayhem, Mr Wong's most recent outing, Mr Wong Goes West, sadly lacks most of these qualities.

It's an unfortunate title, since this book goes west in too many ways. There are a couple of scenes in which the absurdities of language are played around with, there are a few stretches of vivid writing, but in general there's a feeling of aimlessness about the thing. The characters are blurred rather than sharp; the murder mystery is solved, but without giving us any reason why it was committed in the first place; and the last fifty pages appear to have been tacked on to make an exciting ending. They have little to do with the rest of the story, and again, Mr Vittachi fails to give us a reason why.

Nevertheless, I'll give the talented Mr Vittachi the benefit of the doubt and hope that the next appearance of C F Wong will be up to scratch.

Photo courtesy of Flickr.com - taken by RaeA

1. He's Just Not That Into You: Because you're average looking and he only dates super models
2. She's Just Not That Into You: Because you're unemployed and live with your mother
3. 101 Ways to Exploit Your Children for Profit: A practical guide for showbiz mums and dads
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People with Sympathy
5. You've Got More Chance of Being Hit by a Bus Than Finding a Husband at Your Age: A dating guide for women over 40
6. You May as Well Join a Convent: A dating guide for women over 50
7. The Slum Landlords Guide to Evicting Single Mothers and Other Undesirables
8. From Apple to Zepplin: Baby names inspired by celebrities and inanimate objects
9. Do It Yourself Life Saving Surgery for Those Who Can't Afford Health Care
10. Why is Mummy and Daddy Getting Divorced? How to tell your kids daddy is a lying, cheating, dead beat and mummy is a nagging, frigid bitch
11. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bribing a Public Official
12. George Bush is Our Lord and Master
13. The Cheating Husband's Guide to a Lasting Marriage with introduction by Bill Clinton
14. There's a Sucker Born Every Minute: The complete bastard's guide to ripping off charities and old people
15. Shallow Grave Digging for Dummies: A guide for spouses hoping to cash in on a life insurance policy
16. Mooching Off Your Relatives and Other Viable Alternatives to Wages
17. 101 Lies to Tell Your Parole Officer
18. Playground Extortion for Beginners: A guide for parents wishing to profit from their child's school bullying
19. I'm Watching You: A practical guide for stalkers and the love obsessed
20. Everyone's a Winner Except You

“Under the Tuscan Sun” was a natural outgrowth of the accumulated notes that Francis jotted down when she and her partner Ed began their love affair with Italy.

“Bramasole”, meaning “to yearn for the sun”, was “une bella villa” in Tuscany, Italy. The locals thought the American couple were crazy to buy a house that was neglected for 30 years. The contract mentions “the house and the land it takes two oxen two days to plow”. With two heavy iron keys, one for the rusted iron gate, and one for the front door, they set out for their “home in Italy”.

It was a dignified house which lay near a Roman road and an Etruscan wall, surrounded by an olive grove and many fruit trees.

The way she describes their workload and how they fill local recycling bins to overflowing, makes you tired just reading it.

In between the passages about “project house”, she shares about the locals and their (to the Americans) different culture. Italians want to know how much you paid for the house. It seems the Italians have time to give; they have the quality to become involved in the moment. Francis and Ed love it.

We meet the “geometra” and a line of prospective contractors, each with a different opinion and price list.

Primo becomes the right man for the restoration, which will take three years to complete. He is helped by Polish workers who are diligent, and Italian workers who don't care less.

They run into all kind of unexpected and expensive surprise - like the well that has run dry, forcing them to buy truckloads of water, and terraces that are unsafe and need to be restored.

Francis “the Poet” shows in the way she describes nature. These “thoughts” are scattered pearls throughout the book.

Just to name a few:

“The summer sun hits like a religious conviction”.

“Night happens quickly, as though the sun were pulling in one motion under the hill. The Milky Way sweeps its bridal train of scattered stars over head.”

“The hot sweetness of the black grapes breaks open in my mouth. They even smell purple.”

We stroll with her to town where they buy groceries in the little shops. “Pay me tomorrow” the grocery woman tells her when she doesn't have small change.

“Festina Tarde” - make haste slowly is something the couple has to get used to. August is holiday month in Italy, leaving them stranded in their restauration work.

The same as “siesta” in the afternoon, where the shops close for three hours.

With teaching jobs in the States, Francis and Ed have to travel back and forth. Whenever they have a holiday, they fly back to Italy, where, instead of relaxing, they dive into physical exhausting work. But it revigorates them, they are fueled by the joyful feeling of being back in Italy.

Slowly they begin to master the language and begin to adopt the Italian way of living - and love it. Ed begins to gesture and wave his hands the Italian way and throws himself into cooking. Lunch takes two hours, taken in the shade while the “cicades hammer in the trees, their deeply, ehart of summer sound”. They muse about the “Fellini” scenes they encounter everywhere they turn. The pleasant lunch drifts into siesta. After a stroll to town, they have to begin to think about the next meal.

She describes the people in such a way you see them before your eyes - the clock repairer, the cobbler, artisans working in their shops, the smithy, the tailor - each with his or her particulars, so typical of Italian life.

The book is part travel guide and cook book, for she describes several trips through Tuscany and has summer and winter kitchen notes, full of mouth watering recepies.

Describing her driving experiences that need “ice water in your veins” and the way the mayor of Naples views traffic light, give the book lots to laugh about as well.

It's a book full of variety. It makes you long to explore Tuscany yourself, see with your own eyes what she paints with words.

This book is translated in many languages, and the film is one of them. A movie made out of a book can be disappointing, but this time both can be enjoyed, for they enhance one another.

If you're longing for an “infusion” of sunshine and happiness, this is what this book will give you.

Reading this book is like walking between Francis' roses. These are planted with lavender in between, and spread waves of scent which you can't but inhale deeply - and be blessed with an infusion of happiness.

1. The Dursleys still don't like Harry.
2. Neville Longbottom knows his plants.
3. Ron Weasly curses with his "Bloody Hell!" and calls several people mental.
4. Hermione Granger is still a know-it-all.
5. Lots of good, old-fashioned, shoot "em up wand fighting action.
6. Avada Kedavra!
7. Polyjuice Potion. How refreshing!
8. You-Know-Who throws a temper tantrum.
9. Harry"s scar hurts. Apparently they don't have Tylenol in the wizarding world.
10. Someone dies. Go figure...

Did you really think that I would go revealing the end of Harry potter and the Deathly Hallows? Oh please... Go read the book yourself, it's only a little over 700 pages...

Some of these experiences seemed real and hilarious. First, in a flashback, Manuel shows how a flashlight worked. When he showed everyone at the fair the flashlight, the battery was dead.

Next, at the talent show practice Manuel's friend Benny blew his trumpet. Manuel got startled and the record rolled across the floor. It was scratched. When the day for the talent show came, they started with the toothbrush act. While they were doing the act, the tooth rolled off the stage. The principal asked if he was okay, and the tooth said, “ask my dentist”.

Next Manuel performed on the stage. He started dancing and singing. While he was singing, the record got stuck. He acted like it was okay by singing the same words over and over again. When he was done singing and dancing the audience laughed at him because he was saying the words over and over again “Para La Bamba”.

The Office Art of War is a fit addition to the ranks of such books, replete with quotations from great generals, military strategists, politicians and the authors of past Arts of War, naturally including Machiavelli and the earlier Sun Tzu.

This is not so much a guide through the terrain of the modern office as an SAS Survival Guide for the professional jungle. This book lists the dangers and hazards of the office; how to recognize the various power plays and betrayals that are a daily feature; the real motivations behind boot-licking, childish antics and macho posturing, and how best to respond when confronted with these professional plagues. Like a good martial arts manual, The Art of Office War also explains how to use these same Dark Side teachings for your own advantage.

Delicate readers may be distressed to discover that this book is not Politically Correct; like the writings of Machiavelli, The Art of Office War is concerned not with how people should behave but with what they actually do: people resort to low tactics in all walks of life, especially the office.

Arm yourself with the knowledge to pre-empt any catastrophe that your colleagues may be brewing to poison your career, and seriously consider laying your own malicious schemes well in advance; The Art of Office War is your codex of strategy.