Do you ever think the world has gone mad? If so you are probably looking at the past with rose coloured spectacles. The world has always been mad even here in England. When Charles Dickens wrote Oliver Twist he had the character Mr Bumble state, "The law is a [sic] ass". To prove the point here are some of the bizarre laws passed over the ages some of which have never been repealed.
In Scotland if someone knocks on your door wishing to use your commode you cannot deny them the right.
If you think the Scots have a hard time of it with strangers knocking on their door demanding their rights feel sorry for the police since another law states that a pregnant woman can relieve herself wherever she wants, even in a policemen's helmet.
Just to prove the law is not sexist men are allowed to urinate in public, as long as, their right hand is on the roof of their motor vehicle and they aim at the rear wheel.
Should you take a trip in a London cab and the driver says there is no room in the back for your luggage, don't accuse them of being awkward. They are probably just following the law which states they must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.
Should you wish to travel on a bus instead then be careful if you are a lady for it is illegal for a lady to consume chocolate on public transport.
But then ladies have more time for travel since men over the age of 14 are supposed to be carrying out 2 hours of longbow practice overlooked by a member of the clergy each day.
While on the subject of longbows, beware if you are Welsh for it is legal to shoot a Welsh person all day with a longbow on a Sunday in Cathedral Close, Hereford. The Welsh get a poor deal since they are no more welcome in Chester where the law states that Welsh people inside the city walls after midnight can be shot with a bow and arrow.
The Scots had better not be laughing at this stage since the law also states it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the walls of York, although he must be carrying a bow and arrows at the time. Who says the English are xenophobic?
It's not just the common man who has trouble with the law, it is also possible to get into trouble in the Houses of Parliament should you enter wearing a suit of armour or worse still to die in there both of which are offenses under law.
Had enough? Well have a good Christmas, except
Image found here
don't eat any mince pies since if you do you'll be breaking the law as laid down by Oliver Cromwell and never rescinded.
