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Five Children's Stories I'm Not Reading to my Kids

A list of five un-childish stories that are directed towards the junior sector of society.

Here are five “Children's Stories” that aren't so child friendly.

Hansel and Gretel

The children live in a home with their father and their stepmother (who abuse them). The stepmother doesn't want them so she makes her husband send them into the woods. However, they find their way back using white stones. Then the father is again forced to take them out again. This time they use bread and it is eaten. They find a house made from candy, but the old lady who owns it imprisons Hansel and forces Gretel to be a slave. She also says she is going to eat them once they are fattened. At the end, the children roast the witch alive and steal all her money. They go home to find the stepmother has died. The End.

How sad! The children are abused and then kill someone. Not something I think I would read to my kids.

The Emperor's New Clothes

A rich emperor is obsessed with clothes. He has suit for each hour of the day and does not care about the people of his kingdom just his clothes. Then one day two men appear and sell him “the most beautiful suit ever.” The best part of it though is you can only see it if you were fit for your job or had a very good character. Except, they sell him nothing. He doesn't see the cloth but nevertheless goes on a procession to show it off. Then, the general public notices he is not wearing anything and the emperor runs back to his palace naked. The two men who wove it however disappear and are never found again.

Well, nudity for one thing. Also, it teaches kids that deceit and lies sometimes can make you big money.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears

Three bears lived in a nice house in the woods. One day, they left to go somewhere. A young girl came along to their house while they were gone and found three bowls of portage. She ate from two and found them not to be of her liking. Then she gobbled up the third. She found three chairs and finding the first two too big; she sat in and broke the third. Then, feeling tired, she goes and tries out the beds. After trying out the first two, she falls asleep in the third. The three bears return and to their surprise there has been someone who ate their food, broke their chair, and is sleeping in their bed. They wake her up and she runs off.

What a selfish and rude girl! She walks into their house uninvited and eats their food and breaks their furniture! I don't want my kids to be like that.

The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there was three pigs. They left home and decided to build homes. One builds a house of straw, one builds his house of planks of wood, and the last makes his of bricks. Along comes a wolf that goes to the first house and when the pig doesn't let him in, he blows down the house and eats the pig. The wolf continues on to the second pig and he proceeds to blow down his house and eats him. He goes to the third one and unable to blow down the house, he goes down the chimney. The pig is ready for him and puts a pot of boiling water on over a fire. The wolf falls in and then is eaten by the pig.

I think any story where 75% of the characters are eaten by each other is not suitable for children.

Rumpelstiltskin

In this story a miller boasts that his daughter can spin straw into gold to the king. The king takes her and imprisons her in a jail full of straw and tells her if she doesn't spin it by the next morning he will kill her. She cries and a strange man appears who spins the straw into gold in exchange for her necklace. In the morning the king appears, but is not satisfied so puts her in a larger room with more straw. She cries again and the man appears, this time spinning for her ring. The next day, the king puts her in a larger room. She cries and the strange man appears. She doesn't have anything to trade, so he offers to spin it for her firstborn child if she has a child. She agrees. In the morning the king appears and takes her as his wife. A few years later, she has a child and the man appears to claim it. She cries and the man takes pity on her. He gives her three days to discover his name. If she succeeds she can keep the baby. She sends out messengers to find it and on the third day she finds out his name is Rumpelstiltskin. He gets very angry and rips himself in two.

Well, first off what a bad father the girl has. He lies to the king about what she can do. Two, what a bad king. He threatens to kill her but marries her after she gets him rich. Third, what a bad girl. She breaks her promise and drives Rumpelstiltskin insane. And fourth, ripping yourself in two? Is that really necessary?

I'm not sure why these are children's stories.

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Comments (1)
#1 by Stephotshka, Jun 1, 2008
Children are not made of cotton candy! & they have a brain...
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