Where Did It Start?

It's been a long time.

My college days are numbered and I keep on thinking and asking myself many things, about my life, this life and how it will be. I learn a lot from my past experiences including past relationship that keeps me challenging and wondering what will happen to me.

The Purpose of Driven Life, this is the title of the book I keep on reading by Ricky Warren. This book made me realize that everything was made for GOD, realizing that my life here is a temporary assignment for the preparation of eternal life in heaven. It makes me think in many ways in simple manner. As a proof, I use to appreciate the smile of other person even though I did not know them at all, share the things and time with others patiently and look money as a test in our life. I also learn that that I have to endure pain with my past for a better future. Moreover, I was attached or being dependent to a person although I know that it will not be appreciated and I will not received any return for any good act to him but I told to myself, it's better to be true and express my feelings but I should know my limitation, it was painful to know that I love a person and keep asking myself if it is right although I know that the answer is wrong! My opponent was my mind, my cohort was my heart and the innocent was the people surround us. That was a painful past but I should not be prisoner of it but it was a big part. I really understand my bitter heart ache but until now, I don't know if I whole heartedly accept it.

As a student, I did not failed and keep myself in average level in academic aspect. It is a fact that friendship and studies have relationship on each other. After ending up with our undergraduate thesis, I've realize that one of my friend step back on me after being true and understanding to her. She fools me, it was the first time that a friend hurt me extremely but I should understand her still. For now, I don't know how to face and mingle with her after she apologizes. Not knowing if she is sincere or not.

There are many “I don't knows” in my life, I need to trust everything with GOD because it was started to him.